Their Naughty Bits Thwack Together Like Really Strong Magnets

A couple weeks ago, while outlining my new ROW80 novel, I realized I would have to write a couple sex scenes. Now I’ve written for most of my life, but the majority of my writing has been poetry and non-fiction, and sex scenes were something I simply didn’t consider for those works. I wrote my first fiction novel a few years ago, and didn’t include a sex scene for the same reason I didn’t include a bank-heist scene or a car-chase scene. They just didn’t fit into the story. I wrote my second novel last year, and while that didn’t have any sex scenes per se, it did have a fair amount of double entendres and sexual innuendo. Now, at the start of my third novel, one of my main characters has conspicuously popped up- pun intended. He is a sex addict and he told me I would be writing about what he loves to do the most.

I really have no clue how to describe a sex scene without it sounding medical. Sure, I can substitute slang for the proper names of body parts, but beyond that is where I need a little helpful suggestion. Years ago I did actually read a romance novel, written by Fabio. Yes, THAT Fabio. Around the same time I toyed with the idea of attempting to write a romance novel myself. Why? Well, because out of nowhere (or maybe through Fabmosis) I thought of the perfect romance novel title: “Loins of Fire.” That title was, and still is, too perfect to not have a book behind it! Try saying it out loud, and draw out the “ire” part of “Fire”- Loins of Fiiirrre . . are you hot yet? I am!

So, now that I’m “in the mood” with “Loins of Fiiirrre” raging in my mind, here I go with the sex scene thing . .

Her gluteus maximus fits neatly into the bucket seat of his very expensive sports car. He leans over her, and his man-scented perspiration drips from his manly nose onto her exposed womanly bosoms.

“Your gear shifter is in the way,” she whispers.

“Not yet,” he replies.

He shifts his proud pleasure stick with the skill of a seasoned NASCAR driver, putting it in 1st.

“I’m in gear now,” he revs.

“Oh . . do donuts!” she gasps. Her heaving bosoms jut conspicuously.

*****

Yes? No?

_____

 

She runs across the flowered field, her well-muscled legs pumping, giving chase to her adoring compadre.

“The longer you run, the more submissive you’ll be, my naughty filly!” she yells.

A glowing pink mist flows over the Earth and envelopes the pursuant pair.

“It is a sign from She-Ra, she has proclaimed I shall drink of your sweet nectar!” the princess warrior bellows.

As the Sun slips away and the Moon rises, the womyn snatches the grrrl, and they embrace and twirl in a femme-domme dance.

“And now I will revel in your poontang,” the powerful she-beast smirks.

“Giddy-up!” her breathless side-kick giggles.

*****

Too specific?

_____

He cups her heaving bosoms and spies two crescent-moons of milky-white woman-flesh underneath her otherwise orangey pendulous orbs. “Self-tanner,” he muses, his hungry nostrils flaring with each chemical inhalation.

*****

What do you think? Too many adjectives?

_____

On second thought, I think I’ll just write out the scenes just like I would write out any other scene- focus on character, the senses, and moving the plot forward. My “Loins of Fire” title is up for grabs. I’m not an erotica / bodice ripper writer. I’m a general fiction writer.

 

Do you struggle when writing sexually graphic scenes, or any other specific type of scene?

 

p.s. Swoon-filled thanks to Margeanne Mitchell who let me borrow her “pleasure stick” for this post.

p.p.s. And here are some sex scene tips which actually work!

 

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17 Comments

  1. Hey CMStewart,

    You can never have too many adjectives. 😉 Just ask my CP. heheheh

    Great post! Very funny.

    Murphy

    Reply
    • Thanks, Murphy!

      I’ll keep CP’s adjective advice in mind if I ever decide to dust off “Loins of Fire.” 😉

      Reply
  2. Quite entertaining! I started to write a sex scene in my novel, but I decide to stop short because a) it wasn’t necessary at that spot and b) I’m freaking scared to write a sex scene. I can’t imagine it being good.

    Still, I want to take another crack at it. There’s a point later in the story that it might make more sense. I’ll be thinking of you when I finally write it. (Wait, is that weird?)

    Reply
  3. Funniest thing I’ve read all day. Much thanks. Found it via a friendly tweet.

    Reply
  4. Wonderful post! I quite liked the bad examples.
    Hmm … It’s hard to say something that I haven’t already said elsewhere at this point (and thank you so much for the link! I really do appreciate it!), but I think writing sex the way you would anything else is a good idea.
    That and of course reading other people’s sex scenes. See what works and in which context.
    Oh, and one more. (I can’t seem to shut up about sex, can I?) A teacher once introduced me to the concept “level of diction”. Basically, in this context, it means not to introduce the act as “love making” and then bring in the “pleasure stick”. There’s a romantic, a vulgar, a humorous and a clinical approach, and things tend to go wrong if you mix them (unless that’s the purpose, of course, and you have someone talking romantically, but the scene itself being matter-of-factly. Or if you’re D.H. Lawrence).

    Reply
    • Thanks, and you’re welcome!

      And thanks for the “level of diction” tip. I’ll go back to my iffy novel scenes and check what I’ve written.

      Reply
  5. jesswords10

     /  January 15, 2011

    I’m not sure if giving your character a drink will help this time or not, but you could try it. What would his drink be? And how would you know he’s too drunk to perform? lol.

    P.S. I freakin’ LOVED Xena Warrior Princess when I was in 5th grade, and shared this interest with my teacher. We bonded over Xena and her illustrious war cry!

    Reply
  6. Rofl, great post!!

    Even thinking of having to write sex scenes makes me uncomfortable >_> Lol!

    Reply
    • Thanks!

      I’ve kept my focus on character when writing the sex scenes. Then I go back and edit up one side and down the other. Works for me so far.

      Reply
  7. I struggle when I think someone is going to read it. That’s the part that gets to me. I have to pretend my eyes will be the only one to see this.

    Reply
  8. Triaxx

     /  February 26, 2012

    Writing sex scenes? Simple. Write what turns you on. If it fits the character, add it. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t seem to work, keep writing and read it over later. If you don’t like it, you can always write it again. That’s the whole point of the editing process.

    And don’t forget that a scene will flow from the rest of the writing. If that’s what’s necessary in the book it will flow into place. If it’s not, you’re not going to force it.

    And yes, I know it’s probably long since over by now, but I ran across this while referencing you for a paper about censorship.

    Reply

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