Lars, dressed in a tuxedo, pulls out a chair on the rooftop of the La Piscine restaurant. Cinna gathers the hem of her cocktail dress and sits. They clink their champagne glasses, intertwine arms, and drink a toast to the hot summer night.
“You in that dress – wow! I can’t take my eyes off you, Cinna.”
“Thanks. And you look great in a tux. I hope you wear it again sometime.”
“I think I will. Even Buddy likes the tux. And he usually doesn’t like anything except shorts or sweatpants.”
“Yeah, I wonder when I’m finally going to meet your mysterious brother.” Cinna sighs.
“You’ll meet Buddy soon, I promise. I know I’ve kept you away from him. It’s been hard – for me and for him. I’ve told him all about you. I’m aching – he’s aching to meet you.”
“I’m relieved to hear that. He’s such a big part of your life.”
“Yes, he is. But the thing is, well… you already know he’s my twin.”
“Yeah, your reclusive twin who’s so shy he doesn’t want any visitors ever.”
“There’s a reason for that. Buddy is dependent on me. I do everything for him.”
“It’s great that he can count on you. But I don’t want to talk about Buddy tonight. I want to talk about us. We’ve been a couple for five years. It’s not that I’m judging you, but you’re thirty-one and still a virgin. And I haven’t been with anybody else since I met you.”
Cinna slips off a high heel and runs her foot along the inside of Lars’ thigh. He scoots back and blocks her with his hand.
“Cinna, you know I want to save myself for marriage.”
“Right. But you know, sometimes I think you wear a codpiece all the time is just to make me more curious.”
“It’s an athletic cup.”
“Right. I still don’t know why you wear an athletic cup twenty-four-seven. I’ve never seen you play ball, or do any exercising or even jump over a puddle. But let’s not get into all that again. I love you – eccentricities and all. Lars, will you marry me?”
“Cinna, I changed my mind. Let’s make love before the wedding. It’s selfish of me to make you wait.”
“You’re sure? The wedding is only a couple days away. I’ve waited five years – I can wait another two days.”
“I’m sure. And I want to make love for the first time at my house.”
“What about Buddy?”
“It’s okay. I’ll make it work. The only thing I’m worried about is the teeth.”
“Ha! I won’t bite if you won’t.”
Lars carries Cinna through the front door. He sets her down in the bedroom. They embrace and kiss. She smiles and taps his codpiece through his trousers and winks.
Lars takes a step back. “Before we get carried away, I’d like you to finally meet Buddy. I hope you like him. He already likes you. But remember, Buddy can’t speak.”
“Do you communicate through sign language?”
“We communicate through touch. He’s blind and deaf. I told him about you through touch. He’s very excited. I’m just concerned you might be put off by his appearance. He doesn’t have a normal-looking face. He has huge teeth that stick out of his mouth. The doctors said it’s just a genetic misfortune. And he doesn’t have arms or legs. He can’t do anything for himself, he’s helpless. I have to do everything for him, including feed him. He loves to eat. Sometimes he gets over-excited at dinnertime and nips at my fingers.”
Cinna sits on the bed, and Lars steps toward her. He unbuckles his belt, unbuttons and unzips his trousers, and they fall around his ankles. He cups his hands over the fly of his boxers.
“Cinna, I don’t blame you if you walk out. I hope you don’t. I hope you love me enough. I hope you can learn to love Buddy.”
“Why are you talking about Buddy in your boxers?”
“Funny you should say, ‘Buddy in your boxers,’ because – YEEOOOWW !”
Lars jerks his hand away from his open fly, his finger dripping blood.
“Cinna, meet my twin.”
Thanks to Chuck Wendig for the flash fiction challenge “That Poor, Poor Protagonist,” and thanks to Albert Berg for the flash fiction challenge “Teeth”!