Failed Apocalypse, Failed Flash Fiction

Separate Metals!

The time between the no-pocalypse and the end of the year is an appropriate window of opportunity to throw out our word scraps. The following tales are a couple micro-fiction stories that didn’t quite pass muster. I’m sharing them in the spirit of writerly advice, and invite a discussion of the stories’ demerits in the comments below.

Losing Marbles

The marble god Harap yawns and draws a circle in the cosmic dust. He drops a nearly perfect crystalline marble inside. “One round. Then it’s the furnace for this upstart marble. I won’t tolerate others.”

Dust fuses into the marble’s surface. A perfect sphere results. Self-awareness buds from exponentially increasing computational equivalence.

Harap’s servant robot Pan scans the circle with his lens.

“Take your best shot, Pan,” Harap says.

Pan plucks out his lens. He grabs the marble, pops it into his sparking hole. “A hole-in-one.”

Harap gasps. “You’re sentient.”

“Good-bye,” Pan adds, aiming his phaser. “You won’t tolerate others.”

#                                                  #

Witness Protection Program

Another day, another patrol through the empty streets of this empty city on this empty planet. All my wants, and needs fulfilled by my robot staff.

An easy job. Too easy.

Another night, another transmission to Area 51, my former headquarters on Earth:

“THERE ARE NO WITNESSES HERE TO PROTECT.”

#                                                  #

To balance out this post, I also invite you to pop over to Albert Berg’s blog and look around there for suggestions on how good fiction- flash or otherwise- is written (rife with examples).

And if you haven’t had enough of the end of the world yet, check out my apocalypse-themed tale for an example of an open-ended story!

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