American Gothic

My American Gothic

American Gothic

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may have seen my last post, vaguely describing my alleged extraterrestrial abduction.

Since that posting, I’ve regained some memories of the event, and even discovered I had the wherewithal to take some photos immediately after my abduction.

(I was immobilized during my examination in the extraterrestrial spaceship, so was unable to photograph the aliens or the inside of the ship.)

On or around July 10, 2013, I was beamed aboard a spaceship from the planet Saturn. I spent the next month or so being forcibly restrained and studied, as many Earthling have been studied by Saturnites before me. I was probed with needles around my feet, ankles, and lower legs. The needles were tiny, but I suspect I had an allergy to the antiseptic, as the resulting pain was lasting. I still bear the scars from the needles:

Note the probe injection marks and the bruising from the restraints.

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I took this photo in night vision mode. This is the extraterrestrial spaceship which abducted me:

This is a spaceship from Saturn, I'm pretty sure. Note the scale distortion caused by plasgravitid waves.

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Also taken in night vision mode, this is the extraterrestrial spaceship landing strip across the street. During the daylight hours, it is disguised as a lawn ornament display:

Though I was abducted by Saturnites who most likely used this landing strip, I believe my neighbors across the street are Mercurians.

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My abduction and probing was stressful, but I am honored that the Saturnites chose me as a test subject, and am forever grateful they returned me to Earth in an infinitely more suitable and pleasant environment. I can now plant my garden, and include Earth’s most perfect fruit, the non-GM tomato. (Photos next summer.)

My old new abode is at 0:25

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My American Goth

American Goth

That GM tomato was evil, I tell you, EVIL. I had to do it.